Biggest Little City in the World" (4/5)
by AngelFood
Summary: Scully & Mulder in San Francisco


**Disclaimers in Part 1** 

As they waited for the bus to come to a full stop, Mulder stuck his hands in his pockets while Scully fished her coin purse out of her bag. "How much is the fare?" he asked. 

"I think I saw a tourist guide at my hotel that said it was a dollar," she replied. "My hotel" had been deliberately said – before she could rest comfortably, she had to know if he would correct her or not. He said nothing at he continued to rustle around. As the bus stopped, Mulder took out his wallet, peered in, and grinned sheepishly at Scully. "Think they take credit cards?" 

"You don't have any change?" Oh, for God's... " she muttered. "I'll take care of it." She pushed past him onto the bus, confirming the price was in fact $1.00 before she took out four additional quarters. "Here, for me and him," she said to the driver, dropping the quarters through the slot. 

"Need a transfer?" 

"Transfer? No. This bus goes down Stockton, right?" The driver nodded assent, so Scully walked past him. A quick scan of the bus made her heart sink. No empty seats. She reminded herself of Mulder's previous words about the width of the city; seven miles across. She could stand for a mile or so on a moving bus. Then, back at the hotel, she'd treat herself to a nice, long foot soak. 

Mulder edged in behind her, holding onto the rail above them for support as the bus lurched forward. She grabbed the rail to her right as she said, "Good timing with the bus, huh?" 

He was almost surprised she was talking. The look on her face suggested fatigue and irritability and he had determined to give her a few minutes to calm down before he tried talking again. But… she spoke first. "Yeah. This should take no time at all." 

Despite their aching feet, the first few minutes of the bus ride passed pleasantly, Scully taking in the view of Washington Square Cathedral, Mulder losing himself in thought as they passed by a building with a sign out front proclaiming "Bimbo's." As the bus turned onto Stockton, they both looked out the window to the sidewalk where a large group of people were waiting at the stop. Scully looked around, mentally calculating how many additional people could fit onto the bus safely. She stopped counting at twenty as the bus ground to a stop, and she watched in horror as what could only be described as a sea of people fought to push onto the bus all at once. She looked up at Mulder, who had the same expression on his face. "Where are they all going to go?" he asked quietly. She looked over her shoulder towards the back of the bus, but her attention was caught by another sea of people fighting to push through the back doors of the bus. She nudged Mulder and pointed towards the crowd, saying indignantly, "Look at that. They're getting on without paying." 

"Wish you'd thought of that?" he replied with his typical smirk. She opened her mouth to reply, but stopped when she saw an elderly Chinese lady trying to get on the bus. Her progress was delayed by one of the plastic bags she was carrying. Scully wondered if someone would help her, thinking the bag was simply too heavy for the woman, until a chicken's head poked out of the top of the bag, then disappeared back into the plastic. Watching the woman struggle with the chicken, all Scully could say was "Mulder…" Fortunately, he heard her and followed her line of vision to the door. They watched as the woman started to pay for her ride. "No live animals on the bus," the driver said crisply. Without missing a beat, the woman turned around and started down the steps. Thank goodness, Mulder thought, now we can get moving. Instead, the woman leaned off the last step, holding the writhing bag over the gutter, then produced a knife from her purse. All Scully said was "Oh, she's not going to…" before the woman deftly slit the chicken's neck, letting the blood flow into the gutter. After a minute, she made her way back towards the bus driver and held up the bag. "No live no more," she said, shoving a dollar into the fare machine. 

Mulder and Scully stared wordlessly at the bag as the woman made her way past them. When Scully felt it brush past her, she shuddered. "No throwing up, Scully," Mulder joked. 

Scully was about to respond indignantly but let out a loud "ooof" as a Chinese man, roughly her height, slammed into her back. She lost her grip on the rail and plowed into her partner. After apologies directed at Mulder's shoulders, too embarrassed to look at him directly, she reached for the rail again but her hand sailed through the air. Looking behind her, she saw that the man who had pushed her was now standing in her old spot, holding onto the pole just as she had done. And surrounding her on all sides were bodies pressed so close together their breathing must have been impaired. She held onto the back of the seat beside her as the bus started moving. 

She looked up at Mulder, his body curving in from knees to shoulders due to the force of two women wedged in directly behind him. He had a pained look on his face, and was clutching the railing above his head for dear life. "Having fun?" she asked. 

"Oh yeah. Tell me again why we didn't take your rental car?" 

A smell caught her attention before she could answer. She sniffed at the air suspiciously, then asked, "Mulder, what's that smell?" 

He sniffed as she had done. "Fish. Fresh fish. In… plastic." 

Plastic? She hadn't caught the smell of plastic and assumed he was just exaggerating until she looked around. Despite the close quarters, she could still tell that at least half the people who had gotten on the bus were carrying pink plastic bags, all of them with the outline at the bottom suggesting a fish being carried. Just… a big fish in the bag. The smell hit her again, and she reached to cover her nose as the bus skidded to a stop. She lurched into Mulder's side again, this time propelling him forward as well. "We're stopping?" she asked after apologizing to Mulder and everyone he'd pushed due to the human domino effect. 

"Don't worry, they're not opening the front doors, they're just letting people out the back." He gestured with his head toward the back of the bus. She saw the open doors, watched three people get off the bus… then her eyes widened as another stream of people poured onto the bus. "They're coming in the back!" she said in horror. 

Mulder laughed quietly at his partner's rapid fall into suspense-film behavior, then felt a light slap that covered the back of his legs. He tried looking down and over his shoulder to see what had happened, but found himself staring at the white scalp of the woman holding onto the back of his pants for support. When she shifted, he caught a glimpse of the pink plastic carrier bag she was holding and it contents. Taking a moment to analyze the bag's contents, the feeling that, even through his jeans, he had felt on his legs, he wrinkled his nose a little. Then looked down at his partner. Light skirt, thin material. If I felt it through denim… he thought, then shuddered. This wasn't going to be pretty. 

They made it three more blocks and two more stops (with the same handful of people off, mass of people on maneuver, each one causing an ever greater crush of bodies against bodies) before she stiffened up and her eyes narrowed into slits. "What is it?" he asked hesitantly. 

"There's… something pressed against the back of my legs." She tried looking down at it, but was surrounded on all sides by Chinese men who smiled pleasantly at her as she looked at them. "It's cold, it's kind of… wet. Mulder… what is it?" 

Pressed against her legs. This was worse than he'd imagined. Despite the few minutes of preparation he'd had, he hadn't been able to formulate an answer that wouldn't cause a violent reaction from her. So he just said it. "I think it's the fish in the plastic bags." 

Her response was immediate. "What?" She jerked around, trying to get away from the objects against her legs, only succeeding in knocking into the people surrounding her. Their pleasant smiles turned to scowls as they let forth rapid-fire Chinese. Mulder recognized one or two words from trips abroad, deciding not to tell Scully what they were saying, specifically which parts of her anatomy were being verbally assaulted and how her mother had been referenced. As he said something about their almost being there, Scully looked directly into the eyes of the man standing to her right and said loudly, "Yeah, well you snuck onto the back of the fucking bus without paying, so the same to your mother, asshole." 

A few old ladies looked in her direction with frowns, tsk-tsking over the young woman with the foul mouth, while Mulder looked at his partner with equal parts fascination, humor and fear. Had she just used "fucking" and "asshole" in the same sentence? And… she understood Chinese? Wow. He chalked it up to her years as a Navy brat in time to smile at her as she looked over at him. "I want to get off." 

"Okay. Do you have transfers?" 

Her face fell. "I… didn't get them. We didn't need them when we got on, the bus goes right down Stockton. But… we need them now. Get us two of them, you're closer." 

He pointed to the sign above the driver's head that said "Transfers Only Given Out On Boarding" and shrugged. 

"Well, I'm sure there are also rules about_not boarding the bus without paying_…" she yelled the last words, glaring at the people around her. 

"Scully, it's okay. They've got to get off soon. And we're at… Washington Street," he said, peering out the window to confirm. "That's only," he added in his head, "Seven more blocks." 

"Seven? Okay." She nodded. "If I don't think about… the fish, the getting shoved, I'll be okay. What street are we at now?" 

He looked out the window again. Still Washington. There was a green light up ahead, but the bus wasn't moving. Traffic was moving at the same speed as the pedestrians. For the three blocks ahead of them. There was no way he was going to tell Scully about this. What she didn't know wouldn't hurt him. "I think we're still near Washington," he said cautiously. 

"Washington. Okay. And… we'll get off the bus at the hotel. I'll take a shower and get the smell of fish off me." 

"I think you'd only have the smell of fish on you if it was applied directly to your skin." 

"It has been, Mulder. Even if there's plastic, I've definitely felt fish through those plastic bags. Pink plastic bags. How come no one else has had the bags, Mulder? Everywhere we've walked today, and I do mean everywhere, only the Chinese people carrying groceries have those pink plastic bags. Don't they have the pink plastic bags anywhere else? Why only in the Chinese grocery stores?" 

She was rattling, and it was scaring the hell out of him. She'd never been known to rattle, or swear profusely for that matter, and he recognized those as sure signs she was losing it. He had to get her off the bus before she did something really, really bad. To his relief, the bus started to move a little faster. 

The bus traveled three blocks, all the while Mulder kept checking his partner for her behavior. Her lips were set in two tight, thin lines. The expression on her face was clearly a grimace. He put a hand over hers and smiled at her when she looked at him. "What?" she asked in a flat voice. 

"When we get back to the hotel, you want a foot massage?" He hadn't planned on saying that, but the desire to keep her mind off the bus trip had him going out on the proverbial limb. 

He was rewarded with a raised eyebrow and a hint of a smile. "You mean it?" 

"Of course." 

"Okay." She smiled more then turned to stare out the window. Maybe it wasn't so bad having him here, she thought. At least he's willing to make me feel better. And… a foot massage does sound great. She started imagining taking off her shoes, settling back into a chair, having her feet tended to. The thought kept her going until the stop at California Street, when a mass of bodies trying to move towards the back of the bus pressed against her, shoving her into the man behind her. With a loud stream of invective, the man pushed her back with both hands, hard enough that she lost her footing completely and would have hit the floor were it not for the crush of people keeping her upright. Mulder leaned down to help her up, but she brushed him off as she stood, her face white with rage. 

She whirled around and glared at the man behind her. "Okay, that's it," she snapped. "I'm tired of listening to you bitch about me in Chinese, I'm tired of feeling that goddamn fish against my legs, and I'm tired of you shoving me. You're not even supposed to be here, you didn't pay to get on the bus. And I'm gonna do something about it." She reached into the pocket of her skirt and, to Mulder's growing horror, pulled out her ID. "I'm with the Federal Bureau of Investigation. That means I can arrest you for fare evasion, and I'm gonna do it." While she said this, holding her ID directly in the man's face, Mulder watched her reach into her purse. He prayed she wasn't reaching for her gun, but wasn't especially relieved when he saw two silver rings with a chain attached come out instead. 

The man she was lecturing was staring straight at her, and thus missed her fastening a handcuff to his left wrist. When it clicked, he looked at his hand, in time to see her fasten the other cuff around his right wrist. Another flood of Chinese came out of his mouth as Scully reached into his pockets for his wallet. Mulder looked up at the driver, saw him talking quietly into a c.b. radio, heard the words "incident," "handcuffs" and "crazy" and knew his partner was inches away from getting herself arrested. He watched helplessly as she pulled a dollar bill out of the man's wallet and waved it in his face. "This is going where it belongs," she announced, then handed it to Mulder. 

"What?" he asked, thinking don't get me into this. 

"Pay the man's bus fare." 

"Okay. I'll do it, but you've gotta give me the handcuff key." 

"Why?" 

"Scully… look at yourself. You've handcuffed a man to a bus pole. You're going to get arrested. You need to relax. Look, I'm putting the money in the fare meter, see?" The people blocking his way made a path to the meter. He returned to Scully's side as quickly as possible. "Now, can I have the key, please?" 

She studied his face for a moment, then frowned. "Okay," she said grudgingly, reaching into her purse for it. Mulder unlocked the man while Scully continued to glare at him. Once freed, the man yelled a single word in Chinese, then lunged towards her. Without missing a beat, Scully ducked his swinging arm, then landed a punch square in the middle of his jaw. He howled in pain as the bus stopped. 

Mulder took Scully's hand and wrenched her towards the exit. Pushing her out the door, he saw the police car round the corner. Too late. The car stopped and one policeman got out as the bus driver came out of the bus, pointing at Scully and yelling, "That's the one, officer. She went crazy on the bus and handcuffed a guy." 

The officer started towards Scully, her hand still being gripped by Mulder. Her pulse was racing, her face flushed. Mulder was worried she would start yelling at the officer and tried to hold her hand longer, but she jerked away. Pausing only to push a lock of hair behind her ear, she said calmly after a look at the cop's badge, "Officer Owens, hello. I'm Agent Dana Scully, FBI." She flashed her badge as she continued talking. "I'm sorry for the confusion, but the gentleman on the bus made verbal and physical threats to me. In addition, even though I'm just visiting here on vacation, I noticed that he bore a striking resemblance to a man that I believe is wanted for a string of robberies in town." 

The officer stared at her in confusion. "How did you know about the robberies? The description?" 

"I saw it on the local news this morning. Wasn't there also supposed to be a scar across the top of the man's right hand? This man has the same scar. I tried to hold him until the bus cleared out by handcuffing him, but I'm afraid it caused more of an incident than I intended. Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot to introduce you to my partner, Agent Mulder." She nodded in Mulder's direction. "If you need statements from either one of us, of course we'll do whatever we can to cooperate." 

Mulder stared at her, barely concealing his amazement, as the officer said, "We'll check it out. He's still on the bus." 

"He hasn't been able to squeeze past everyone to get off, no." 

"Yeah, that bus is always a bitch," the officer laughed pleasantly. "They really need to run more of those. Can you two stay here a minute?" They nodded yes, then he went onto the bus. 

"You got the order of events wrong, you know," Mulder said quietly. 

"Oh, you mean he made the threats after I cuffed him? Yes, that's true," she said coolly. 

"Did you really see that on the news this morning?" 

"Yes, while I was working out." 

"Did he really have the scar?" 

"Of course he did. Would I lie to a policeman? By the way…" 

"Yes, Scully?" 

"Can I still have the foot rub?" 

******* 

Officer Owens pulled his cruiser to a smooth stop under the Grand Hyatt's carport. After setting the parking brake, she unlocked the doors and turned to face her passengers. "Well, here we are," she said, expecting at least one of them to make a move for a door handle. Neither of the Federal agents budged. 

Scully looked at her partner. "Don't you need a ride to your hotel, Mulder?" She asked carefully, baiting him. 

"But Scully, I owe you a foot rub," he replied, successfully dodging the 'I'm-gonna-trick-you-into-telling-me-what- hotel-you're-in' bullet once again. 

Scully sighed, realizing her partner had again avoided her indirect inquiry about his lodging. His reluctance to offer up where he was staying worried her to no end. Still, he had to go to his hotel sometime, right? So, she decided not to worry about it. Besides, if he was in the same hotel, there wasn't a whole hell of a lot she could do about it at this point. 

After thanking Officers Owens, the duo got out of the police car, only to be met with curious stares from the hotel staff. 

"Official police business," Mulder told them, resisting the urge to flash his badge at them. 

"I hope I can make it to the elevator," was all Scully could manage in reply. 

With one hand on Scully's lower back to support her, and the other carrying his jacket and packages, Mulder started to giggle. He could only imagine what this looked like to the hotel staff, as well as the guests that were milling about the lobby. Two relatively attractive people, the man with his arm around the woman's waist being brought back from a day of sightseeing in a San Francisco Police Department patrol car. 

Scully looked up at him. "What's so funny?" 

"Nothing, Scully. Just marveling at how typically atypical this day has been for us." 

She smiled as the elevator doors dinged open. There was only one thought on her mind. "Yeah, and thank God this day is almost over." 

It occurred to Mulder as they approached Scully's room that maybe offering this foot rub wasn't the best idea that he had ever had. After all, hadn't they just spent the day *walking* around San Francisco? Not to say Scully had bad hygiene but no one's feet would smell too good after the trek they had taken today. Luckily, thinking fast was one of his trademarks. 

"Scully, I bet I know what would really help your feet before I even start your foot rub. Run some cool water over them to soothe the skin a little." He hoped that hadn't come out sounding like 'Can you please wash your feet before I touch them?' 

If she had taken that as his meaning, she didn't indicate as such. Rather, she slipped into the bathroom, where she did as he had suggested, even going one step farther. She lathered her feet quickly with the little bar of hotel soap. No sense in offending Mulder's senses when he was being so gracious as to give her tired feet a little massage. Once her feet were dry, she walked back into the main room and sat on the edge of the bed. 

Mulder was at her dresser, picking a lotion out to rub on her feet. He had briefly dated a manicurist a few years back and remembered that she always used some sort of lotion during a pedicure. Settling on a blue bottle that smelled vaguely of summer flowers, he moved to a chair next the bed, ready to begin. 

No sooner had he started on the toes of her left foot then he saw that he still had it. Scully's face told the story. Her eyes were closed almost all the way, her mouth hanging open slightly. Mulder imagined he could make some serious cash if he had a picture of her face right now. It was well known to Mulder that the men of the Hoover Building thought that Scully, despite her cool demeanor, was one hot looking lady. Intellectually, he had to agree. But he was completely certain that kissing Scully would be like frenching out with his own mother. If not even more creepy. He grinned, and wondered what Scully would think if she knew he felt that way. 

He could only imagine what would be said if anyone at work ever found out about this foot rub. Not that they would, mind you. Though he doubted it was specifically addressed, he was sure that the FBI Guidelines would deem foot rubs inappropriate, under the 'no fraternization' section. 

"Mulder, I can't believe you didn't tell me you gave such wonderful foot rubs. I would have signed up for weekly session," Scully murmured, never opening her eyes. 

Mulder smiled. "I am the foot master." He had started in on the hard knot of muscle in her left calf, and couldn't help but notice that her skirt had slid up. It was still discreetly hovering around her knees, but he could only guess what Scully would think if she realized that. "Scully, you ever see 'Pulp Fiction'?" That scene where Jules and Vincent are talking about - " 

Scully yanked her leg back and rolled away from him. "Out, Mulder." 

"What? What did I do?" 

Scully didn't answer. She just sat on the bed, staring at her partner. He had the absolute gall to stand there and pretend he had no idea what had pissed her off. 

"You heard me. Get. Out." 

Mulder suddenly realized what was going on here. It was obvious that Scully had indeed seen 'Pulp Fiction'. "Scully, I - " 

Her icy gaze stopped him mid-sentence. Without another word, she turned and walked into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind her. 

Taking this as his cue to make a speedy exit, he grabbed his jacket, muttering loudly, "I guess now would be a bad time to ask you where you want to go for dinner." 

"I haven't heard that door open and close behind you yet, Mulder," Scully called out from behind the bathroom door. He could hear her moving around in there, turning on the tub, and doing who knows what else. 

"Yeah, yeah." A hot, hot shower suddenly sounded like a wonderful idea. Turning to leave, he took one last look at the bathroom door his partner had retreated behind. "Women." 

Dana Scully held her breath until she had heard the door open and close, signaling her partner's departure. Once she was sure he was gone, she dropped her head back and began to laugh. Mulder had given her the perfect opportunity to get rid of him. She couldn't believe it. Of course, the foot rub had been wonderful, but sometimes, you had to make small sacrifices to maintain overall sanity. And the look on his face when she had ordered him out! It was something she would carry with her for a long time. Priceless. 

She opened the door back into her room slowly, just to be safe. With quick side to side motions of her head, she ensured herself that he was, indeed, gone. She crossed to the closet, and pulled out the new dress she had bought just for this trip. 

She laid the outfit out on the bed, carefully smoothing out the wrinkles. Satisfied that her outfit would look perfect, she headed back for the bathroom, more than ready for her bubble bath. 

Turning off the water in the bathtub, she turned and grabbed a towel, then eagerly stripped out of the clothes she had been wearing all day. Testing the water cautiously, and finding it perfect, she slid her fatigued body beneath the sudsy water. 

Her bathroom backed up to the bathroom of the room next to hers. She could hear someone moving around in there, then turning on the shower. The sound of the water running through the walls soothed her frazzled nerves even more. For the first time since the knock at her door that morning, Scully let herself relax. She could feel her eyelids getting heavy, and thought that maybe a short little nap would be just the thing she needed. The shower in the room next to hers stopped just as she slipped off to sleep. 

She wasn't entirely certain what had awakened her. The water didn't feel cooler, so she couldn't have been out for that long. She held her breath for a moment, listening. She wasn't sure, but she thought she had heard the door to her room open and shut. Mulder had left before she even got into the tub, so that couldn't have been what she heard. The bathroom door rattled ever so slightly, as if with a change in air pressure. A cool draft of air came in from under the considerable space between the bottom of the door and the floor, raising gooseflesh on her exposed arms, and the leg she had draped casually over the side of the tub. 

Then she heard it. Someone _was_ moving around in her room. She could hear them talking to themselves. She closed her eyes again, to allow herself to concentrate on the sounds from beyond the bathroom door. She wasn't concerned for her safety, considering her gun was easily within her reach. What she was worried about was being robbed blind while she sat indecisive and wrinkling in the bathtub. 

She heard footfalls moving towards the bathroom door, and she carefully moved her hand beneath the towel that was concealing her weapon. Taking a deep breath, her heart galloping, she tried to calm herself by concentrating on the familiar feel of the gun in her hand. Her gaze never wandered from the doorknob, they only widened as it began to turn. She waited for the first creak of the hinges before flattening herself against the side of the tub, and using the edge to balance her shooting arm. She aimed her gun at the door, ready to surprise her intruder. 

She had expected the door to open slowly, cautiously, giving her ample time to prepare for the situation. To her dismay, the door flew open. She tensed, her finger putting gentle pressure on the trigger. 

"Jesus Christ, Scully! Don't shoot! Don't shoot me!" 

"Mulder! Damn you! I ought to drop you where you stand. What the hell are you _doing_ in here?" 

"Waiting for you to finish getting ready," he said lamely. 

"Maybe you misunderstood my question. What are you doing in my bathroom? Let alone my hotel room. How did you get in here?" 

"I just figured you were doing your make-up or something. I didn't hear the shower running…" Mulder shrugged. "What're you doing with your gun in the bathtub, anyway?" 

"The gun's _always_ near me, you know that. How did you get into my hotel room?" she asked again slowly, hoping that maybe he'd answer the third time. 

She was met with another shrug. "You gonna get dressed, or are we gonna sit here and get hungry while you turn into a prune?" He walked out of the bathroom, carefully closing the door behind him. 

After sitting in the tub for a minute, pondering why even a simple bubble bath had to be so horribly complicated while her partner was around, she stood up in the bathtub. As she put on the hotel bathrobe, she called out, "I'm coming out to get my dress. You better not be sitting on it." 

"As if I'd do something like that," he called back as he looked under him, saw fabric that was clearly not the hotel bedspread, and pulled the dress out from under him and began vigorously smoothing it. When the door opened, he walked over to Scully and handed her the dress on its hanger. She smiled a half-smile to thank him, then disappeared back into the bathroom. "I'll be out in five minutes," she called. 

"Right," he said half-heartedly. Five minutes. Sure. Five minutes, woman-time, bathroom-time was a potentially staggering amount of time. He sat back, looking around for a magazine. After making it through the "Letters To The Editor" of San Francisco Magazine, the bathroom door opened. 


End file.
